So Like, I Wuz Trolling Teh Telly-Veesion And..

The title sounds like the start of a bad joke. Thankfully, I don't think I'll have any bad jokes in this post. Well, at least not more bad jokes that I normally have per blog post.

ANYWAY, I was looking for something to watch on TV the other day and an ad caught my eye. It was for this product called the Body Action System, developed by MMA champion, Bas Rutten.

B.A.S. = Body Action System = Bas, Clever huh? Oh, what's that you say? Not really? Well then:



Now that we've gotten that out of the way, while searching for that picture, my lack of an attention span caused me to get distracted and look at some other pictures that came up in the Google Image search result. Here's another one:



Oh right, we were talking about something before, weren't we?

Anyway, yes, the Body Action System. It's like a training dummy that martial artists can use while training to practice throwing punches, kicks, headbutts, kamehamehas, spirit bombs etc. at.



The television ad claimed it was new and revolutionary. I beg to differ. Have you guys ever seen one of the following?



It's called a Wing Chun Dummy. Been around for like more than a century too, maybe two. It's used by practitioners of Wing Chun Gung Fu. For reference, wiki it or watch a movie called Yip Man. It's one of those Chinese gung fu movies. It's fairly recent too. Either way, here's a Youtube video promoting Bas' product, tell me what you think.



If you think anything like I do, you'd probably just make one of the wooden Wing Chun dummies and stick some pads on that sucker. Yes, make. Get some durable wood (no innuendo here guys, move along...*snicker* wood *snicker*) and try making it. It would be a LOT cheaper too, Bas' product is like $500 USD.

BUT, I'm not bashing it. It actually seems like a pretty good idea/product. If he could get the price tag down to like half of what it costs now, I definitely see a big market for it, not just for serious MMA fighters, but for people who want to get a bit of self defense practice in without having to punch their little brothers in the nose. *cough*

In the video, when Rutten called Slice, I almost had an "anal recalibration" moment. I was hoping that they were going to fight. You know, for ermm... promotional purposes. However, that didn't work out, so Kimbo got to take out all that pent up oppression that results from being a hairy, muscular, black guy out on that poor dummy. Ouch.

I like UFC and other MMA competitions. I don't really watch them often, but the matches I've watched, I like. Whether or not you believe the sport is rigged is unimportant, those guys have worked out and are buff, and it's damn entertaining to see them staggering around after a few good blows. Just saying.

お休みなさいよ！
Lord Robinson.

Poon: The Definitive Etymologicalistic Thesis Thingy

"Poon"...what does it mean to you?

Is "poon" a state of mind? Is "poon" a state of being? Is "poon" some abstract spiritual quality we all must strive for?

Nope..."poon" is that wonderful quality we all desire in a woman.

I'll let the innuendo sink in for a while. For the daft ones among us, I've included a link so you can see what I'm talking about:

But seriously, if you're wondering what inspired this post, I was reading through Texts From Last Night and the site regulars use the word quite a bit (at least compared to people who live in the REAL world). So, I decided to look it up. I already had a few context clues as to what it meant, but Google decided to light up my world a little bit more.

Fine...I decided to pass the knowledge onto you, my dear readers.

After all, isn't that what bloggers do? Aren't they responsible for keeping their beloved readers informed and up to date on a variety of culturally significant topics?

You say no?

So what do they do then?

On second though, forget about it, let me get on with my exposé on poon.

So where did the word come from?

Well, according to this site, it may be a corruption of the French word putain, meaning whore. However, it may also be derived from some part of Chinese language (as well as some other reasons, go read the link if you're one of those people who's interested in "facts" and "logic" and all that crap).

So, having given up my quest to find a definitive origin for the term, I decided to do something that only Gavin Robinson can do. Harass people with the newest addition to my slang vocabulary. I almost got injured a few times, so I'll just include one, in order to preserve my dignity. This interaction took the form of a MSN messenger conversation.

Me: hey man, you ever heard of the word "poon"?
Friend: lol, yeah man...it means [censored to ensure the academicityness of this article]
Me: oh, I should go get some then, huh?
Friend: Fi real...you look like you really need it lol
Me: eat [censored] [censored]
Friend: lol
Me: so do you think I could use it as a verb?
Friend: huh?
Me: yeah, say something like, "that whoring bitch pooned me last night"
Friend: ummm...i dunno, i guess.
Me: yeah...or like, "My favourite drink is Poon Tang."
Friend: ewww
Me: or even better:
Friend: i get the point, please shut up
Me: you get my pooont? cool
Friend: you're [censored] crazy, you know that?
Me: too much poon
Friend: you're creeping me out man, later

I therefore conclude that the word "poon" is a legitimate slang term, that should be respected and feared by all speakers of the English language.

-END OF THESIS-

If you're one of those people who thought this article was serious, you need to close your browser, turn off your computer, and go get some poon. lol

Peace Out,
Gavin