So, for the past 5 weeks or so, I've been without the internet due to stupidity on the part of my ISP, LIME (the best ISP in the Caribbean *sarcasm*).
Naturally, to fill the empty void in my soul caused by internet deprivation, boredom and the pain I felt via the psychic screams of my followers unto a Internet God that had forsaken them (namely me), I had to improvise, and make do with games I had on my computer.
Before I show you my so called improvisation, I have a very important question to ask about a certain phenomenon. It puzzled me greatly.
What's that hot, yellow thing that comes down out of the sky when you're not under a roof, and it hurts your eyes when you try to look at it? I've never seen it before...
Umm, so yes, back to improvisation.
Pictured below, improvisation:
The Elder Scrolls 3
I was playing this a bit before the internet started acting up. Despite the fact I spent a bit over a month without the internet, I still haven't finished it. Its a great game, but the constant trekking all over the map, and the running back and forth really does get on my nerves. Technically, although running up and down to do quests is a classic RPG gripe, it's exacerbated in Elder Scrolls, even with the quick transport mechanisms available ingame, considering the sheer size of the game map (insert dick joke here).
What I love about Elder Scrolls however, is how immersive they made the world. I've counted at least 50 books so far, and a majority of them have been 15 or 20 pages long. Their contents are quite varied and include among other things: the history of the world, anecdotes about people, or sermons for the Tribunal temple (an ingame religion, which of course, in classic RPG cliche fashion ties in with the well written main plotline and backstory).
"The Axe Man" is one of my favourite anecdotes from the game. Here it is, in its entirety. It's short anyway. Quick definitions: Morag Tong - Bunch of ingame assassins, Dwemer - dwarves, saltrice - ingame crop
Of all the members of the Morag Tong I've spoken with, none disturbed me as much as Minas Torik. A quiet and reserved man who never drank, never visited a brothel or even uttered a curse, he was famous for his ability to make people disappear. Once a person was targeted by the Brotherhood and Torik was sent to them, they would simply cease to be. I asked him once what his weapon of choice was, and was equally startled by his answer.
“I only likes to use axes,” he said in his typical, quiet voice.
The image of this silent, dour fellow attacking anyone with a weapon as inherently bloody and violent as an axe so frightened and intrigued me that I questioned him about it further. This is an inherently dangerous activity, for assassins are not typically keen to give out their stories. Torik did not mind the questions, though it took some time to get the full story out of him, as naturally shy and reserved as he was.
It seemed that Torik had been orphaned as a very young age and sent to live with his uncle, a saltrice plantation owner in Sheogorad in northern Vvardenfell. The man promised to show his nephew the business and eventually make him a partner when he was old enough. In the meantime, the boy was put to work as his uncle's house servant.
It was a grueling life as the old man was very particular about how things should be done. The boy was first required to give all the floors in the house a thorough scouring, from the attic to the cellar. Whenever the floor was not cleaned to the uncle's satisfaction, which was frequent, Torik was thrashed and forced to begin again.
The boy's second duty was to ring the bell that would bring the laborers into the house. This was done at least four times a day, once for each meal, but if his uncle had any news or additional instructions for the laborers -- which he frequently did -- the bell might need to be sounded a dozen times or more. It was a huge iron bell in the tower and the boy quickly discovered that he had to throw his entire body into the motion of pulling the chain in order to have it sound loud enough to bring everyone in from the field. If he was tired and did not pull the backbreaking chain hard enough, his uncle was soon at his side to beat him until he rang the bell loud and clear.
Torik's third task was dusting all the shelves in his uncle's vast library. As deep and old as the shelves were, he was required to work with a long, heavy duster on a rod. The only way that he could reach to the back of the shelves was to hold the duster at his shoulder and then swing it out in a sweeping motion. Again, if the uncle saw any dust left over or felt that the boy was not working as hard as he ought to, the punishment was swift and severe.
After several years, Minas Torik grew into a young man, but his job responsibilities were not increased. His uncle promised to teach him the business, once Torik had demonstrated his mastery of his servile assignments. Divorced from any knowledge of any work other than his own, Torik never knew how badly in debt his uncle was and how poorly the farm's yield was.
In his eighteenth year, Torik was called into the cellar by his uncle. He thought that he had not done a good enough job scouring the floor down there, and was frightened of the beating to come. What he found, however, was his uncle packing his goods into crates.
“I'm leaving Morrowind,” he explained. “The business has gone sour, so I thought I'd try my luck running a caravan in Skyrim. I understand there's good money to be made, trading fake Dwemer artifacts to the Nords and Cyrodiils. I wish I could take you with me, my lad, but there won't be much need for scouring, bell pulling, and dusting where I'm going.”
“But uncle,” said Torik. “I can't read, I knows nothing of the business you promised to teach me. What wills I dos on my own?”
“I'm certain you can find a job in some domestic capacity,” shrugged the uncle. “I've done my best with you.”
Torik had never stood up to his uncle before, and felt no anger only a sort of coldness that gripped his heart. Among his uncle's possessions being packed away was an old heavy iron axe, allegedly of Dwemer manufacture. He picked it up in his hands and was surprised to find that it was not much heavier than his dusting rod. In fact, it felt very comfortable as he pulled it over his shoulder and swung it out as he had done so many times before. In this instance, however, he swung it into his uncle's right arm.
The old man screamed with pain and rage, but for some reason, Torik didn't feel frightened anymore. He propped the axe against his other shoulder, and swung it out again. It cut a swath across the old man's chest and he fell to the floor.
Torik hesitated before lifting the axe above his head. It was another natural position for him, like he was ringing a bell. Over and over again, he swung down as if he was calling the laborers in from the field. Except that this time, there was no sound except for a wet thump, and no laborers came in from the field. Of course, his uncle had sent them away hours before.
After a time, there was nothing left of his uncle that couldn't be washed down the cellar drain. The process of cleaning up came easily to Torik as well. Blood scrubbed up much quicker than the usual grime and saltrice flour that littered the cellar floor.
It was well known that Torik's uncle was planning to leave Morrowind, so his disappearance provoked no suspicion. The house and all the belongings were sold to the debt collectors, but Torik took the axe. It seemed that his uncle had given him some worthwhile business skills after all.
Good stuff huh?
In the game, I've currently entered the Ghostgate and killed 2 people that I was supposed to kill to recover certain items (I wrote it like this to avoid any spoilers, just in case your interest has been piqued and you decide to play it too). My Redguard Battlemage is quite epic (max proficiency with axe and heavy armour skills, and maxed out strength attribute), but for a magic using character, his MP is really low.
Lets move on before I have a nerdgasm.
Morrowind isn't the only game I played during my little sabbatical. Honestly, I would have gone mad if that were the only thing I had to play. This brings us to:
Yggdra Union
Yes, I've mostly been playing 2D RPGs. Thats usually my preferred choice of game anyway.
I started playing Yggdra Union MONTHS ago, but my playing was intermittent, due to me constantly being distracted by trivial matters like school. I started playing again about 2 weeks ago. It's a really great game (and it seems to be in the same story universe as Riviera: The Promised Land).
*PSEUDOSPOILER ALERT*
Anyway, after much stress and toil, I finally defeated Gulcasa. As my troops were leaving the castle, something happened. Milanor's reaction corresponded to mine quite well....
...although admittedly, my reaction was more alone the lines of "Cho bumboclaut, what now?"
And yeah, long story short, this other thing involves like 4 or 5 more battles before you reach the ACTUAL end of the game. It's still a bit of a nasty shock after you've played through almost 40 hard fought battles and you think you're finally done. Ugh.
But it was a good game, and time well spent. Onto the next one:
Summon Night: Swordcraft Story
I'm still trying to figure out if the fact that they spelt the word as "night" instead of "knight" is some sort of Engrish, a clever pun that went right over my head, or some god-forsaken combination of both.
I'm a bit of a 2D RPG aficionado, and I really enjoyed playing this game. I never minded the level grinding I had to do at times, because the combat system is really fun.
Why?
Well kids, it uses a combat system similar to the original Star Ocean or the 2D entries in the Tales series (eg. Tales of Phantasia, Tales of Destiny, Tales of Eternia). This type combat system is one of my favourite RPG combat systems because it causes the RPG to play more like a mix of a fighting/strategy game than a normal "wait for the bar to fill, pick a command, if it doesn't kill your enemy wait for the bar to fill again and repeat the process" sort of RPG (I'm looking at YOU, Final Fantasy).
The story is a bit cliche, but it does have a few interesting plot twists. Its definitely worth the 15 hours of your life or so it takes to finish it. I won't say more apart from the fact that you have my wholehearted recommendation to go and play it.
I played a many more games than these 3, but these are the ones I played the most. I don't have time to go into the other ones I played. As a side note, I finally beat Final Fantasy 3 (FF6 in Japan) as well, after procrastinating with it for over 6 years. Can you say "no more closet skeletons"?
My game choices have helped me come to the realization that Atlus has the potential to displace Square Enix as the king of RPG game production, but they need to make more worthwhile forays into 3D RPGs, and they need an epic flagship series. More on that in another blog post though, because I could write and epistle on it.
But thats enough about video games now. Movie time!
I only really have one recommendation (because Elder Scrolls sucked up most of my time).
Anyway, one night, after a 7 hour Elder Scrolls run, I turned on the TV (which was on TVJ because I'd turned it off right after the news and gone back to Elder Scrolls). I caught a fantasy movie as it was starting.
The name of this movie was Legend of Earthsea, and it technically wasn't even a movie; it was a miniseries. I spent the next 2 hours or so watching it. It seemed like a relatively low budget production, and the acting was a bit iffy in certain parts, but I loved the simplicity of the plot. Nevermind the fact that I later found out that the miniseries butchered the story of the actual book series (as film adaptations tend to do anyway), I liked the simplifications.
It had plain wizards trying to stop a plain hostile army. No fantasy names to twist your tongue and give you a headache. Just wizards, monsters, rivals, love interests and evil generals. It's pretty much the complete opposite of almost every fantasy production, in any media, that has been produced for like the last 50 years or so.
The only REAL complicating element in Legend of Earthsea was a summoned demon that was chasing one of the main characters for most of the film. That was of course, solved satisfactorily by the time the ending credits rolled.
There is a LOT more that I could write about the time I spent without the internet, but frankly, I think you're all getting as tired of reading as I am of writing. I'll leave it here for now kids.
I hear there's an anime adaptation of the Earthsea series. I think my first order of business back on the internet will be trying to source it.
Yours truly, now and always,
Lord Robinson.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Friday, April 8, 2011
My Son, My Son, Why Have You Forsaken Me?
About 2 weeks ago, my medical school class and I went on this outreach trip to the Blossom Gardens Children's Home.
For those of you who didn't know, I hate kids. Just throwing that out there. That trip did nothing to change my mind.
I still used the opportunity to take this epic picture though:
And yes, I now know (thanks to EVERYONE TELLING ME), that I'm holding the child the wrong way. -__-
So we brought the children's home some stuff we thought they needed. We got the money from the proceeds of a REALLY successful bake sale we did the month before that.
This whole outreach project was a success, and we look forward to doing it again soon (only I won't be holding any kids this time).
Anyway, apart from this little tidbit, I don't really have anything new going on in my life, except for the fact that exams are approaching rapidly, and I REALLY need to study more. In fact, that's what I think I'll do now...after I finish Yggdra Union: We'll Never Fight Alone.
Something momentous MIGHT also happen this summer, but more on that some other time...
TTFN,
Lord Robinson
For those of you who didn't know, I hate kids. Just throwing that out there. That trip did nothing to change my mind.
I still used the opportunity to take this epic picture though:
And yes, I now know (thanks to EVERYONE TELLING ME), that I'm holding the child the wrong way. -__-
So we brought the children's home some stuff we thought they needed. We got the money from the proceeds of a REALLY successful bake sale we did the month before that.
This whole outreach project was a success, and we look forward to doing it again soon (only I won't be holding any kids this time).
Anyway, apart from this little tidbit, I don't really have anything new going on in my life, except for the fact that exams are approaching rapidly, and I REALLY need to study more. In fact, that's what I think I'll do now...after I finish Yggdra Union: We'll Never Fight Alone.
Something momentous MIGHT also happen this summer, but more on that some other time...
TTFN,
Lord Robinson
Labels:
children,
community,
community service,
computer games,
hatred,
help,
outreach,
video games,
yggdra union
Monday, March 21, 2011
From the Stacks of Paper and Paint I Rise Again
So I've been so busy with real life, I've been neglecting the internet (apart from Facebook of course, because it's like...impossible, to neglect Facebook).
So first, my apologies for the fact that my last post was almost half a year ago. Unforunately, my lack of updating doesn't mean that I'm dead, but rather, that I was busy with school. I got my first semester of medical school done. Went pretty well. Got an A+, and the entire B spectrum for the other 3 courses I did that semester.
I wasn't particularly fond of going home at 7 or 8 pm from the anatomy lab, but I suppose it comes with the fact that I decided to punish myself physically by studying to becoming a doctor, rather than sexually by studying to become a programmer.
BUT, I digress. I've had some interesting experiences. I go to the main campus in Kingston on average, about once a month, to do some labs. I get to catch up and hang out with my friends and make some new ones (can anyone say "Hot Trinidadians?").
I just came back from my pinning ceremony and UWI Carnival this past week. I have pictures of the pinning ceremony. I don't have any pictures of the Carnival itself for three reasons:
1) SLACKNESS! :D
No seriously, some of the pictures of the Carnival could seriously ruin the professional careers of some people *cough* me *cough* in the future if they got out. Oh, and I danced with a lecturer for a good 20 seconds, then she pushed me off. Long story. xD
I also danced with this hot Trini girl and bumped her (humped her?) a little too hard, and sent her flying into this hot jerk drum (jerk pan, jerk grill, whatever you want to call it). Before I apologized to her I sang the following hymn (yes hymn),
"You're a jerk!(16x)
Jerk Jerk Jerk! (Jerkin)(5x)
JEEERRK
So cocky with it got my iced out clubs like rocky hit it
Got your girl on my swagg she lovin them jerkin songs
Like the new ipod just touch it and turn her on
And when the bass start beatin and the waist I'm beatin
Done I got on my way I'm leavin she like where you goin? I aint
got my shoes and purse
I said it's none of your concern and she yelled (your a jerk!)
So I walked out the door called Ben J. told him it's a function he
said I'm on my way
We pulled up to the party I take off my shirt and got geeked up
everybody jerkin
We was jerkin to the right jerkin to the left
Then she popped out of nowhere she was still half dressed
She like fa real jerk you left me for this stuff
the whole party heard her but all I could hear was.."
But she took it all in good humour, and I didn't have to run for my life.
2) THE WATER AND THE PAINT
There was an epic water truck, spraying water on all of us. It was an UNGODLY amount of fun, but I was totally unprepared the first time the water hit me, and I jumped a couple feet into the air from the shock. Oh, yeah, but umm, I couldn't bring my camera anyway, because I didn't want to risk damaging it bygetting it wet (it's already half-useless as is already anyway). As it pertains to the prevalence of the paint...here's a little mini-anecdote:
There was a party before the Carnival (Night) Road March called J'ouvert. Unlike the road march, this party took place in one centralized area. As soon as I entered this place, some girl (who I don't even know) slapped me across my face, and I'm talking about an EPIC bitchslap, the sort only Jesus could turn the other cheek for. So I turned around, ready to cut a bitch with my incisive wit, and I saw her laughing at me, and then she just hugged me and ran off. It was unexpected and surprising; after that I wasn't angry anymore. (I should also add that the fact she was in nothing but a bathing suit and had massive breasts also helped to repair my transient anger management malfunction).
Then when I went inside, one of my friends who I was there with (this guy named Steve) was like, "Gavin, you've been painted already!". He showed me my reflection. Lo and behold...there was a massive yellow paint mark in the pattern of a hand on my cheek and my shirt and shorts were stained with yellow paint from hugging this girl. I still wasn't mad though. xD
But yes, I'm straying. Onto the final point:
3) THE EPIC TURNOUT
There were at least 2000 people there (based off my quick, crappy, ballpark estimation). Not only UWI students were involved, but UTech students and random people off the street. In fact, at the J'ouvert party for the night road march, the place was so packed that I actually got claustrophobic. It was rather traumatizing when I was trying to escape from the water cannon that was blasting me, and I was trying to push people aside, but nobody would move, so I couldn't get away in time. Let's have a moment of silence for my poor nervous system. (FOR EXTRA TRAGEDY, imagine a fat man pushing through a crowd of people while getting epically hosed down).
All in all, being my first UWI Carnival, it was pretty cool, but I heard people complaining that other years were better. (One of my classmates who had actually gone before was actually pissed from Saturday morning till Monday afternoon at how lame it was this year, to him at least). My major complaints were that the DJ focused on Dancehall music too much, and never played much of other Caribbean genres such as Soca, and that they repeated the same songs over and over.
As it pertains to my pinning ceremony (which was the original reason I was in Kingston anyway), I got my medical pin. It may sound epic, but all I will say is that those pins are gold and bronze only in colour. No more shall be said. I do look epic in a bush jacket though.
No, I don't know those other two girls. Well, I'm just kidding, they're in my class.
Pictures from the night after, a bit before we went to Carnival. (WARNING: BOOBY SHOT PICTURES)
Marc being epic for the first time in his life.
Me being epic as I always am. (But I just realized I have a massive nose, it's squeezed against her chest dwl)
Steve's frass face, Giselle and Rahje's hand seizing his property.
Marc and his "legal team" (sans Raquel who was an absentee, and Steve, who took this pic). That's me in the pink.
Steve's "fair rationing" of Pepsi to white rum. Yes, that's really all the Pepsi he used. It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Oh yeah, and there was a little messing around at the gas station in New Kingston. Just a little. That involved playing catch with someone's teenage daughter.
Oh, and finally, one of the most epic couples ever (Raj and Gis):
And no, before people start, I don't really drink. I just participate in lots of recreational activities with career alcoholics. Oh, also, I apologize for the quality of these images; this camera is on its way out.
Anyway, I hope these make up for all the blog posts I've missed. I've gotten almost hundreds of new stories since I last updated my blog. I'll cover them all someday.
Till Next Time (which I hope will be soon),
Lord Robinson.
So first, my apologies for the fact that my last post was almost half a year ago. Unforunately, my lack of updating doesn't mean that I'm dead, but rather, that I was busy with school. I got my first semester of medical school done. Went pretty well. Got an A+, and the entire B spectrum for the other 3 courses I did that semester.
I wasn't particularly fond of going home at 7 or 8 pm from the anatomy lab, but I suppose it comes with the fact that I decided to punish myself physically by studying to becoming a doctor, rather than sexually by studying to become a programmer.
BUT, I digress. I've had some interesting experiences. I go to the main campus in Kingston on average, about once a month, to do some labs. I get to catch up and hang out with my friends and make some new ones (can anyone say "Hot Trinidadians?").
I just came back from my pinning ceremony and UWI Carnival this past week. I have pictures of the pinning ceremony. I don't have any pictures of the Carnival itself for three reasons:
1) SLACKNESS! :D
No seriously, some of the pictures of the Carnival could seriously ruin the professional careers of some people *cough* me *cough* in the future if they got out. Oh, and I danced with a lecturer for a good 20 seconds, then she pushed me off. Long story. xD
I also danced with this hot Trini girl and bumped her (humped her?) a little too hard, and sent her flying into this hot jerk drum (jerk pan, jerk grill, whatever you want to call it). Before I apologized to her I sang the following hymn (yes hymn),
"You're a jerk!(16x)
Jerk Jerk Jerk! (Jerkin)(5x)
JEEERRK
So cocky with it got my iced out clubs like rocky hit it
Got your girl on my swagg she lovin them jerkin songs
Like the new ipod just touch it and turn her on
And when the bass start beatin and the waist I'm beatin
Done I got on my way I'm leavin she like where you goin? I aint
got my shoes and purse
I said it's none of your concern and she yelled (your a jerk!)
So I walked out the door called Ben J. told him it's a function he
said I'm on my way
We pulled up to the party I take off my shirt and got geeked up
everybody jerkin
We was jerkin to the right jerkin to the left
Then she popped out of nowhere she was still half dressed
She like fa real jerk you left me for this stuff
the whole party heard her but all I could hear was.."
But she took it all in good humour, and I didn't have to run for my life.
2) THE WATER AND THE PAINT
There was an epic water truck, spraying water on all of us. It was an UNGODLY amount of fun, but I was totally unprepared the first time the water hit me, and I jumped a couple feet into the air from the shock. Oh, yeah, but umm, I couldn't bring my camera anyway, because I didn't want to risk damaging it bygetting it wet (it's already half-useless as is already anyway). As it pertains to the prevalence of the paint...here's a little mini-anecdote:
There was a party before the Carnival (Night) Road March called J'ouvert. Unlike the road march, this party took place in one centralized area. As soon as I entered this place, some girl (who I don't even know) slapped me across my face, and I'm talking about an EPIC bitchslap, the sort only Jesus could turn the other cheek for. So I turned around, ready to cut a bitch with my incisive wit, and I saw her laughing at me, and then she just hugged me and ran off. It was unexpected and surprising; after that I wasn't angry anymore. (I should also add that the fact she was in nothing but a bathing suit and had massive breasts also helped to repair my transient anger management malfunction).
Then when I went inside, one of my friends who I was there with (this guy named Steve) was like, "Gavin, you've been painted already!". He showed me my reflection. Lo and behold...there was a massive yellow paint mark in the pattern of a hand on my cheek and my shirt and shorts were stained with yellow paint from hugging this girl. I still wasn't mad though. xD
But yes, I'm straying. Onto the final point:
3) THE EPIC TURNOUT
There were at least 2000 people there (based off my quick, crappy, ballpark estimation). Not only UWI students were involved, but UTech students and random people off the street. In fact, at the J'ouvert party for the night road march, the place was so packed that I actually got claustrophobic. It was rather traumatizing when I was trying to escape from the water cannon that was blasting me, and I was trying to push people aside, but nobody would move, so I couldn't get away in time. Let's have a moment of silence for my poor nervous system. (FOR EXTRA TRAGEDY, imagine a fat man pushing through a crowd of people while getting epically hosed down).
All in all, being my first UWI Carnival, it was pretty cool, but I heard people complaining that other years were better. (One of my classmates who had actually gone before was actually pissed from Saturday morning till Monday afternoon at how lame it was this year, to him at least). My major complaints were that the DJ focused on Dancehall music too much, and never played much of other Caribbean genres such as Soca, and that they repeated the same songs over and over.
As it pertains to my pinning ceremony (which was the original reason I was in Kingston anyway), I got my medical pin. It may sound epic, but all I will say is that those pins are gold and bronze only in colour. No more shall be said. I do look epic in a bush jacket though.
No, I don't know those other two girls. Well, I'm just kidding, they're in my class.
Pictures from the night after, a bit before we went to Carnival. (WARNING: BOOBY SHOT PICTURES)
Marc being epic for the first time in his life.
Me being epic as I always am. (But I just realized I have a massive nose, it's squeezed against her chest dwl)
Steve's frass face, Giselle and Rahje's hand seizing his property.
Marc and his "legal team" (sans Raquel who was an absentee, and Steve, who took this pic). That's me in the pink.
Steve's "fair rationing" of Pepsi to white rum. Yes, that's really all the Pepsi he used. It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Oh yeah, and there was a little messing around at the gas station in New Kingston. Just a little. That involved playing catch with someone's teenage daughter.
Oh, and finally, one of the most epic couples ever (Raj and Gis):
And no, before people start, I don't really drink. I just participate in lots of recreational activities with career alcoholics. Oh, also, I apologize for the quality of these images; this camera is on its way out.
Anyway, I hope these make up for all the blog posts I've missed. I've gotten almost hundreds of new stories since I last updated my blog. I'll cover them all someday.
Till Next Time (which I hope will be soon),
Lord Robinson.
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