Green Eggs and Ham-onella Poisoning: The Reincarnation of Dr. Seuss

The title of this blog post is a reference to a book by Dr. Seuss called Green Eggs and Ham. Dr. Seuss is the same person who wrote "The Cat in the Hat", if you didn't already know. Dr. Seuss isn't his real name. His real name was Theodor Seuss Geisel. He had a rather...interesting life. Case in point, he used to make propaganda cartoons in World War 2. Here are some of them that I found:







If you don't know what a war bond is, wiki it.

Anyway, as usual of course, I'm digressing. I really made this post to say that about half an hour ago, I made deviled eggs. For the record, when I was writing this, it was 3:17 AM. Anyway, the best part is, I don't even have any symptoms of salmonella poisoning (yet).

Here's a picture. You can ignore the toast; I was just hungry, so I grabbed a slice of bread and stuck it in the toaster, then slapped it onto the plate.



Not bad. I have to send a shout-out to my friend S-K Sucky, for helping me out when I panicked. I was looking on the eHow instruction page for making deviled eggs, and I realized I didn't have any mustard or mayonnaise in the house. She suggested substituting the mustard with black pepper, and told me that the mayonnaise wasn't really necessary. Well, she was right. It tasted awesome. I added salt, black pepper, cinnamon and vinegar to the yolk mixture. Epic win, if I do say so myself.

Next time I try it though, I hope I have all the ingredients on hand. There are some other recipes that I've seen around the internet that I want to try. Here are some links:

1) Chocolate Chip Cookies - It's not so much not knowing how to do it, or not having the materials, as it is finding the TIME to make them. It seems the only time I can get some peace to cook is at like 1:30 AM in the mornings. So be it. I hereby declare that ungodly hour to be Gourmet Time in this household!



2) Log Cake - I dunno about, "Yule" log cake, as opposed to say, "Summer Holidays" log cake or "Losing Virginity" log cake or "Breaking Up With Your Girlfriend Because She Was Cheating on You and Gave You an STI" log cake, but what I do know is that log cakes look so PRETTY! For this one, the issue is definitely getting the icing and the tools to make the decorations. They don't come cheap (the icing AND the tools I mean), and I'm on a budget (it's called the broke-ass negro budget). I definitely want to make it someday. Maybe before summer's done, who knows?



3) Pound Cake - This is probably the easiest thing on my list to make. It's plain, but of course, I intend to make minor modifications to flavour it to my will. I don't have any particular flavour in mind yet though. I have the skill and I almost always have most of the basic ingredients for Pound Cake on hand, but the idea of making one has just never crossed my mind at the right time. I'll probably try this sometime before the end of next week. Of course, I'll blog about the results, just because I love you guys. I'll even share some with you all. ^_^



4) Chinese Dumplings (Type 1) (Type 2) - This is probably going to be the recipe whose ingredients are going to be the hardest to source. I can already figure out some simplifications to replace the more exotic ingredients, but I'm at a loss for some of them. Like Napa cabbage, I can probably replace that with ordinary cabbage I find at the market. And this may be a long shot, but maybe I can replace bamboo shoots with escallion. As a side note, the Japanese call these edible bamboo shoots "takenoko". Not to be confused with the word "bakemono", which means monster. That might make dinner a bit awkward...

Jiaozi Dumplings


Potsticker Dumplings


Anyway onto the ingredients that are more difficult to obtain. Like this "salt" thing...what the heck is "salt"?! Where am I supposed to find that crap? I'm just kidding. It's going to be difficult for me to get my hands on things like Chinese rice wine, or even sherry (Mr. Chin just went $_$), and I doubt Smirnoff Ice would do anything but be a fire hazard. Also, I could always make my own dumpling dough, but it would probably be a lot easier (and safer), if I bought pre-made wrappers. That probably wouldn't be hard to source though, I have some friends who know quite a bit about that stuff.

5) PIZZA! - My mother has made pizza for me before, but I've never done it for myself. She also uses ready made pizza crust. I want to try it by myself and make the dough from scratch. The varieties of cheese that can be obtained where I live are rather limited though, but I can find Mozzarella (at the low, low cost of an arm and a leg), so that's not really such a big problem. I can get creative with the topping too, so that's not really a big issue. The only problem is time, I guess.


But baby, I've got nothing but time.

Well, I think I'm done for today. The final thing I'd like to say before I conclude this post is: RIP OneManga. We had a good run. You were always good to me, but you're in a better place now (yeah, right).

Anyway, later alligator.
Lord Robinson.

P.S. When I was looking for images of pizza, I realized that it actually looks sorta disgusting. I wonder who else thinks that? Doesn't matter. It tastes awesome. It's actually one of my favourite foods.

Japanese Sexual Terms and Cartoon Voice Actors, what do they have in common?

Nothing actually.

I was going through my vocabulary list this morning, and I was feeling idle, so I cross referenced some of the words with JDICT and Denshi Jisho (which basically is built on top of J-dict plus some other sources). I found some ermm...interesting words.

So, in order to avoid more useless words, let's get to the meat of the matter. The following list isn't ranked or anything.

10 Dirty Japanese Words To Use Before You Die

1) 外出し: sotodashi(noun) - extravaginal ejaculation. You can contrast this with 中出し(nakadashi), which means ejaculating inside, whether intra-vaginal, or intra-anal.

2) 豆：　mame(noun) - female genitalia, especially the clitoris (this actually means pea...double meaning anyone?)



3) 打っ掛け: bukkake(noun) - ejaculating into someone's face. Doing a Google Image Search on this (with SafeSearch ON), will have you in stitches for hours.


4) ビタミンエス: bitamin esu(noun) - literally, vitamin S. In other words, SPERM!

5) おまんこ：　omanko(noun, suru verb) - as a noun, it means vagina. As a suru veb, it means to have sexual intercourse (it has a tone approximately between the words "screw" and "f*ck").

6)　万摺り： manzuri(noun) - female masturbation.



7) 初体験: shotaiken(noun) - first experience in any activity. In slang, it means one's first sexual experience.



8) 傷物: kizumono(noun) - a woman who is no longer a virgin. Literally, "damaged goods".



9) 立ち役： tachiyaku(noun) - the man that plays the male role in a homosexual relationship. It's a term for kabuki (a sort of Japanese play, where men play both male and female roles. Eww...)


10) 入れて下さい: irete kudasai(exp) - "Please, put it in."; "Do me." Preferably a term only used by women (and unfortunately, sometimes gay men...tsk tsk).


But, that's probably enough with polluting your minds with the awesome perversion of the Japanese, here's something to rot it now.

A listing of some cartoon voice actors was on the MSN homepage and I found it interesting. I was always curious about who the voice actors behind many of my favourite cartoon characters were. This list is a good start, but of course GOOGLE is where you may want to search for more information. ^_^

That's about enough pointless information for today I'd like to think. So, I guess it's time for me to shove off. I think I'll resume playing with my new character in Dragon Age (a human female noble who is a warrior).

That's all folks,
Gavin.

P.S. STARCRAFT 2 IS OUT! MUST...BUY...COPY...

So Like, I Wuz Trolling Teh Telly-Veesion And..

The title sounds like the start of a bad joke. Thankfully, I don't think I'll have any bad jokes in this post. Well, at least not more bad jokes that I normally have per blog post.

ANYWAY, I was looking for something to watch on TV the other day and an ad caught my eye. It was for this product called the Body Action System, developed by MMA champion, Bas Rutten.

B.A.S. = Body Action System = Bas, Clever huh? Oh, what's that you say? Not really? Well then:



Now that we've gotten that out of the way, while searching for that picture, my lack of an attention span caused me to get distracted and look at some other pictures that came up in the Google Image search result. Here's another one:



Oh right, we were talking about something before, weren't we?

Anyway, yes, the Body Action System. It's like a training dummy that martial artists can use while training to practice throwing punches, kicks, headbutts, kamehamehas, spirit bombs etc. at.



The television ad claimed it was new and revolutionary. I beg to differ. Have you guys ever seen one of the following?



It's called a Wing Chun Dummy. Been around for like more than a century too, maybe two. It's used by practitioners of Wing Chun Gung Fu. For reference, wiki it or watch a movie called Yip Man. It's one of those Chinese gung fu movies. It's fairly recent too. Either way, here's a Youtube video promoting Bas' product, tell me what you think.



If you think anything like I do, you'd probably just make one of the wooden Wing Chun dummies and stick some pads on that sucker. Yes, make. Get some durable wood (no innuendo here guys, move along...*snicker* wood *snicker*) and try making it. It would be a LOT cheaper too, Bas' product is like $500 USD.

BUT, I'm not bashing it. It actually seems like a pretty good idea/product. If he could get the price tag down to like half of what it costs now, I definitely see a big market for it, not just for serious MMA fighters, but for people who want to get a bit of self defense practice in without having to punch their little brothers in the nose. *cough*

In the video, when Rutten called Slice, I almost had an "anal recalibration" moment. I was hoping that they were going to fight. You know, for ermm... promotional purposes. However, that didn't work out, so Kimbo got to take out all that pent up oppression that results from being a hairy, muscular, black guy out on that poor dummy. Ouch.

I like UFC and other MMA competitions. I don't really watch them often, but the matches I've watched, I like. Whether or not you believe the sport is rigged is unimportant, those guys have worked out and are buff, and it's damn entertaining to see them staggering around after a few good blows. Just saying.

お休みなさいよ！
Lord Robinson.

The Good News Cometh Out

If things work out, within 8 months or so, I should have my own individual website for the blog. I'm been brushing up on my PHP, HTML and AJAX skills to make it happen. The issue is really the time it would take to set up the site, and not exactly the cost (although finding a good cheap hosting package would be awesome).

What do you guys think about a comment system similar to that found on Kotaku and other Gawker Network sites? Minus the whole rating system, I'm actually quite fond of the whole thing. I just like it. Allowing users to add images and videos and stuff to their responses really makes things more interactive. Maybe I should add some Facebook connect functionality too, you know? Make things sooo Web 2.0.

I was on ZOMGAnime and I saw this interesting poll. It said Battle of the Classics: Rurouni Kenshin vs. Yu Yu Hakusho (and the third option was "I haven't seen either"). I loved Kenshin, but watched more Yu Yu Hakusho than Kenshin in my time. So, I picked the Hakusho option. At the time I voted, the percentage score was 45:30, in favour of Kenshin. 25% said they hadn't watched either (morons...XD)

Anyway, what do you all think?

Yu Yu Hakusho:



VERSUS

Rurouni Kenshin:



I'm going to a beach party this Saturday. All hail the power of friends with free passes!! WOOT!! This is a pretty good summer, probably one of the best I've ever had.

Oh yeah, I also finally found the theme song for my armies that I will use to take over the world. Here it is:



Minus smoking weed. That crap will be banned. I intend to make that plant extinct. It's nothing but problems. For reference, look at the Jamaican population.

Blah, enough ranting about crap.

I haven't beat Assassin's Creed 2 yet, but I have beat Dragon Age (DLC not included). I'm going to replay now with a different origin story. It's a really epic game as I said earlier. As it pertains to which ending I got, I took the cop out way, involving Morrigan. I don't want to spoil things for people who haven't beat it or even played it, so I won't say anymore.

This has been Gavin Robinson, here to say that you just wasted like 10 minutes of your life.

Tata For Now,
Lord Robinson.